Warriors:Gone Crazy
by Stefaleylove4
Summary: What happens when the apprentices buy iPhones? When Mousefur discovers PawBook? Facebook When Breezepelt orders a...tutu? Honeypaw becomes Honeybee? Berrypaw becomes Berrystumpytail? Jaypaw becomes Jaynoeyes? You'll have to find out!
1. Firestar gets on PawBook

Firestar sat in his den, looking at the latest PawBook updates. Mistystar caught a fish, Blackstar and Russetfur got in an argument, Onestar almost lost his whisker, it was all the same. 'These cats really need something better to do.' Firestar thought. He typed in his status **Congrats Mistystar, Too bad for you Blackstar, You better not Onestar. **He sighed. Just then, Lionpaw and the other apprentices came padding into his den. "Grandpa!" Lionpaw declared with a loud voice. (Or as loud as an apprentice's voice could get.)

"Yes?" Firestar nodded. Lionpaw always had crazy ideas about things that could make his apprenticehood better and Firestar's leadership worse.

"Can we have iPhones?" Lionpaw's eyes pleaded. Berrypaw's whiskers twitched. Honeypaw was watching Berrypaw's whiskers and silently counting each time they twitched. Jaypaw was "staring" into space.

"We would like totally leave you like alone like yeah!" Cinderpaw promised.

"Besides, wouldn't you like to enjoy yourself while the apprentices are all busy playing with their new phones? It would be a total win win!" Lionpaw used a commercial voice. "Act now and get one free, I got my ways." Lionpaw winked.

Firestar sighed. "How much exactly will this cost me?" He went over and grabbed his leaf woven wallet with a bit of squirrel pelt woven into it and sand sprinkled on the outside. He sorted through his Mouse Ears and tails. (A mouse ear is worth 5 cents and a mouse tail is like 1 dollar.) He saw his bark card. (credit card) with his name and special numbers scratched into it. He had about 600 mouse tails on his bark card and about 200 mouse tails in his wallet.

"If you decide to take my offer, about 300 mouse tails. I got my ways for the other ones." Lionpaw smirked. He always had plans like this.

Firestar nodded. "You got a deal, Bark Card or mouse tails?" He pulled out 300 mouse tails and was ready to hand them over, when Hollypaw pushed his paw back.

"It's against the warrior code to give a single apprentice more then 60 mouse tails!" She pulled out the dusty old rule book from underneath his wooden table and started flipping through it.

"Okay okay, I can split it." He hands Lionpaw 50 mouse tails. He hands Honeypaw 50 mouse tails. He hands Hollypaw 50 mouse tails. He hands Jaypaw 50 mouse tails. He holds the other 50. "I can arrange for Daisy to go with you and carry the rest." He nodded.

Hollypaw smiled. "Thanks Grandpa!" She slid the book back under,as all the apprentices padded off she added, "You should treat your rulebook with more respect! StarClan bestowed it upon YOU for a reason!" She padded away and her words rang in Firestar's ears. He shrugged his cat shoulders and turned to Sandstorm.

"Don't you look at me Mister! This was your choice. Let's hope they don't get arrested again!" She looked amused at the idea of Lionpaw getting arrested, yet again. She looked at the ground, fondly remembering when he first got arrested. He was going to the ShadowClan mini mart to buy a bag of chips. He didn't have enough mouse ears, so he just ripped one in half and made it look like two mouse ears. Russetfur found out and hasn't let him back in since. He was put in the WindClan jail, forced to watch Heathertail and Breezepelt lick each others muzzles all day. She snapped out of her memories, only to see Firestar online again. "What are you doing?" She asked, seeing him purchasing something for wbay. (eBay but for warrior cats).

He turned around and nodded. "I'm buying a genuine Silverpelt poster." He clicked furiously. "I won it!" He was so excited, he wouldn't notice if a fox ate him. Sandstorm just cleaned her paws and purred affectionately.

"That's nice dear." She rasped her tongue over some stones in her pads. "So where will you put this poster?"

He smiled. "You should see Leafpool about those stones, and probably in here. Right up above our nests. It has some other StarClan members on it too. Bluestar, Silverstream, Feathertail, Redtail, and Lionheart." He left out the main cat on the poster, Spottedleaf.

Sandstorm smiled and purred. "As long as you're happy." She nodded. "Well, I'm going to go to Leafpool and get these stones out. See you later Firestarry!"

He smiled. "Bye bye Sandystormy!"


	2. Breezepelt orders a tutu?

Breezepaw was sitting in his den, ordering random items for wBay. "Hmm...let's see...there's a StarClan Wars trading cards pack" He clicked on the images and saw it only had a few of the original cards in it. "Forget it, for nine mouse-tails tails and five mouse ears? Crowfeather would line his nest with my pelt if I used his bark card!" He hit the back button and kept scanning for things that he would like. He had a bark card of his own, but it only had twelve mouse-tails and six mouse ears. He thought 'Why would I waste my mouse-tails on StarClan Wars cards?' He came across some collars and some bedding liners. He yawned, was there anything good on wBay these days? Then, he came across it. He needed it. It cost six mouse-tails and four mouse ears. He could spend that amount of money on it! He typed in his numbers and checked when it would be here. Only four sunrises! He was excited. Especially because he had a crush on the mail-paw. Her name was Honeypaw and she was a ThunderClan cat. He was super excited to see her and to get his special order. It would be life changing. He had ordered...a tutu. So Honeypaw wouldn't think he was weird, he would say he ordered it for Heatherpaw. He skipped around the camp, imagining he was wearing his tutu.

"Breezepaw! What are you doing? You look mouse-brained skipping around like a she-cat!" Crowfeather shouted across the camp. It caught everybody's attention and they turned to look at Breezepaw. He turned every shade of red, which showed up well on a black cat. **A/N I can't remember if Breezepaw/pelt is black or not so just bear with me and use your imagination if he isn't. If he is then that is awesome sauce. **Honeypaw came skipping by at that exact moment too, delivering some bills for Onestar, some gossip magazines for Heatherpaw, some mysterious letters for Crowfeather, and some make-up for Nightcloud. She saw him and giggled, then dropped the mail in their mail-hole and padded off. At least he got a giggle. He padded to the mail-hole and picked up the packages. He passed them out and padded back to the apprentice's den. He had rummaged through his mother's make-up and found some fur extensions and bows. He dug deeper and found lipstick, lip gloss, eyeshadow, mascara and more make-up. He smiled. He came up with a brilliant plan. He clipped the fur extensions in and applied the make-up. He tied and curled his fur in bows. He put on an extra coat of mascara and applied claw polish. Last, but certainly not least, he put on fake eyelashes. Perfect. He padded towards the ThunderClan camp, unnoticed by anybody in the camp. He was going to impress Honeypaw.

"Firestar, it looks like Cinderpaw is back already!" Squirrelflight commented. Breezepaw smirked. He had tied up Cinderpaw and put her in the ShadowClan camp, saying she was a rogue who wanted to check out Clan life for a while. Blackstar nodded and accepted her. He padded through the bramble wall and up to Honeypaw.

"Heyyy Honeypaw!" He said in a high-pitched,girly voice.

"Oh hey Cinderpaw! How was the patrol?" Honeypaw asked, licking "her sister" on the cheek.

"Um...Great!" Breezepaw really hadn't thought this plan through. He flipped his extensions over his shoulder.

"Where did ya get the bows? They're a nice touch! Still trying to get Lionpaw's attention?" She asked with a knowing smile.

"I got them at the ShadowClan mini-mart!" Breezepaw lied. He silently thought 'Ew, who could like Lionpaw?' "They're brand new!" He added on to make it seem more realistic.

"Oh, I think they're pretty cute. So wanna go share tongues with the rest of the apprentices?" She offered. Breezepaw tried to think of an excuse to leave. "Hello? Cinderpaw?" Honeypaw waved her paw in front of Breezepaw's face.

"I was just...daydreaming about Lionpaw!" Breezepaw had to stop himself from gagging at the thought. He padded along with Honeypaw and scooped up a vole. He laid in front of the Sunningrocks with Honeypaw by his side. If he wasn't dressed as a girl, then maybe this would be romantic. He flipped his extensions a little too hard this time, and they flew off and flew across the camp. They hit Brambleclaw in the face. Honeypaw gasped.

"Ewww!" She said, clearly shocked. Then, the kits started a choir.

"Dude looks like a ladeh!" They sang the popular Aerosmith song that they heard when it was karaoke night for all four clans. Brambleclaw was fuming by now.

"Who did that?" He padded over, with a hurt nose. "A WindClan spy!" He got upset. "You will be staying prisoner is ThunderClan jail tonight." He paw-cuffed him and led him to a bramble den, next to Firestar's. "Would you like us to make a call to your family? You get one call, but we make it for you."

Breezepaw sighed, "Tell my mother I love her and my father I'm sorry. Actually, forget that last part." Brambleclaw punched in (no, he literally punched it in, he was so mad)  
>the number to WindClan.<p>

"Hello?" He said. "I would like to speak with Nightcloud. Yes, thank you." He tapped his foot in boredom as he waited for Nightcloud to answer the phone.

"Hello?" Nightcloud answered.

"Hi, your son is in jail for the night. He wants me to tell you he loves you. Okay, bye." Nightcloud was about to question Brambleclaw, when he hung up. Breezepaw was astonished.

"Couldn't you phrase that any better?" He shrieked. He was going to be in so much trouble when he got home. He missed his home. At least he could see Honeypaw...but it would be a long time before she forgave him, _if , _she forgave him. He sighed and curled up. 'Nothing much to do but sleep and eat the vole they give me every few hours.' He thought. . 'What if my tutu comes in? My dad would be appalled and my mom would try to steal it! If I told them it was for Heatherpaw then he would expect to see her wearing it.' Eventually, he fell asleep on the cold ground. He woke up to eat his hourly vole and look at the stars. 'Please StarClan, make sure my dad doesn't find my tutu!' He silently prayed. He put his head on his paws and drifted into a long, warm sleep.

"Wake up mouse-brain!" Brambleclaw shouted, still upset about the previous day's events. "You're going home today, so get your tail up and go talk with Firestar before your mother comes to pick you up!" He continued. Breezepaw shook his head and blinked a few times. It took a while to remember where he was, but when he did, he wasn't exactly pleased at the thought of talking with the clan leader. "Well!" Brambleclaw demanded. Breezepaw stretched, then stood up and padded alongside Brambleclaw to Firestar's den.

"Ahh, is this the WindClan spy?" Firestar asked. Brambleclaw dipped his head to the elder and nodded.

"Yep, he was dressed as Cinderpaw. Got all the kits singing. FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK." Brambleclaw obviously wasn't amused with the kits singing. 'It might have been funny,' Breezepaw thought 'if I wasn't the one getting made fun of.'

"Hmm...give him a leaf **A/N A leaf in this case is equal to a ticket. If it's anything else, I'll let you know in an Author's Note. **and let him go." Firestar ordered. Brambleclaw nodded and scratched out a leaf.

"You got off easy this time." Brambleclaw muttered. 'Thank you StarClan!' Breezepaw said, inside his head of course. "Shall I walk him to his camp?" Brambleclaw asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"He's old enough to take himself back, but watch him as he goes through our camp and locate the real Cinderpaw." Firestar said in a stern voice. Brambleclaw nodded and walked with Breezepaw to thorn barrier.

"Now go and don't come up with anything else to make the kits sing about, you got it?" Brambleclaw ordered. Breezepaw just simply nodded, winked at Honeypaw, and headed to his camp. He saw his tutu in the mail-hole and got excited.

"TUTU!" He shrieked so loud cats in ShadowClan could hear him. He slipped it on and skipped into camp. "Oh tutu, you don't know what I went through to get you." He then fell into a mud puddle and his tutu was wrecked. "NOOOOO!" He shrieked so loud cats in the old forest could hear him.

**So what do you think? Reviews please. No mean reviews, just constructive ones. Ex. of a mean review "This story was so stupid, just like your face. Breezepaw wouldnt order a tutu and it doesnt make sense! I just wanna make this story go bye-bye and you too!" Ex. of a constructive review. "This story was pretty good except for I didn't like _ and _ should have been more _. Great efforts though and maybe you can try harder next time!" See? The second one is what I want. If you give me one of the first ones, well, Breezepaw might throw his tutu at you.**


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